You try to figure out what you can do to make the breath better. That’s how you show compassion for yourself. When the breath does go well, you stick with it: that’s empathetic joy (muditā).

"You’re sitting here learning how to breathe in a way that feels really good. Have some goodwill [mettā] for the breath, goodwill for yourself. Be happy when the breath is comfortable.

When it’s not comfortable, show some compassion. Try to figure out why it’s not comfortable. Are you putting too much pressure on it? Are you focusing in the right place or the wrong place? What perception of the breath do you have in mind? Is there a perception that can make things easier?

I’ve talked about the perception of the body as being like a sponge, where the breath can come in and out of the body from all directions. You’re aware of the whole sponge, and there’s nothing in the way.

You could also remember that, of the various elements in the body, the breath is first. So if it runs into a pain, don’t think of the pain as being able to block the breath or to hem it in. The breath was there first. The breath can penetrate anything.

If there’s a feeling of pressure someplace in the body, that’s not breath; that’s the blood or the lymph being pushed around. Those liquids run up against the solid walls of the blood vessels or lymph vessels, which is why there’s pressure. The breath is different: It can flow between atoms. Hold that perception in mind. See if it helps make the breath easier.

In other words, you don’t just sit there with an uncomfortable breath. You try to figure out what you can do to make the breath better. That’s how you show compassion for yourself.

Then, when the breath does go well, you stick with it. “May you not be deprived of the good fortune you have attained”: Think that. You’ve got the breath going well now; stay with it, protect it, hover around it. That’s empathetic joy.

And then there’s equanimity for times when nothing seems to work. Now, that doesn’t mean you give up. It means that if you’re going to figure out a solution, you need to be very calm about the whole thing, and not get upset. Keep your mind on an even keel. Remind yourself that we all have kamma."

~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "Brahmaviharas at the Breath"

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